Fifty-Four Things Wrong with Gwendolyn Rogers by Caela Carter

 

Synopsis:

An own voices story that shines a light on how one girl's learning differences are neither right nor wrong...just perfectly individual.

No one can figure out what Gwendolyn Rogers's problem is--not her mom, or her teachers, or any of the many therapists she's seen. But Gwendolyn knows she doesn't have just one thing wrong with her: she has fifty-four.

At least, according to a confidential school report (that she read because she is #16. Sneaky, not to mention #13. Impulsive). So Gwendolyn needs a plan, because if she doesn't get these fifty-four things under control, she's not going to be able to go to horse camp this summer with her half-brother, Tyler.

But Tyler can't help her because there's only one thing "wrong" with him: ADHD.

And her best friend Hettie can't help her because there's nothing wrong with Hettie. She's perfect.

So Gwendolyn is hopeless until she remembers the one thing that helped her mother when her own life was out of control. Or actually, the twelve things. Can these Twelve Steps that cured her mother somehow cure Gwendolyn too? 

My Thoughts:

This middle grade novel broke my heart. Gwen thinks she's a bad kid because she can never seem to do anything right, and everyone yells at her. She reviews the list of things wrong with her every night before bed, and feels like she can never get anything right. She even appears to have lost friends because of her behavior. And she's not even able to get an IEP, because her evaluation was "inconclusive." 

She desperately wants a diagnosis like ADHD, something that other people can understand, and can lead to someone actually happening her. She turns to the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous to try to cure her Anger on her own. 

Her life is complicated as it is. She's never met her father, and her mom (who is a recovering alcoholic) struggles to make ends meet. She finds out she has a paternal half-brother at the beginning of the school year, and doesn't understand why her mother isn't as thrilled as she is. And her future in afterschool care is constantly being threatened - with it, her family's financial livelihood. 

So there are heartbreaking scenes (and infuriating scenes, like those featuring a sarcastic science teacher who does more harm than good to Gwen), but there are also a lot of gentle, affirming scenes. It turns out that Gwen has a solid network of friends, and they all end up supporting each other. Gwen and her mom also finds a supportive therapist who wants to work through the difficulty of diagnosing Gwen, and who also wants to give them the hope to keep going. 

I think this is such an important read. Carter does an excellent job of describing Gwen's struggle to get the school days, and how hard she works to be good, to redeem herself in the eyes of so many disapproving grown-ups.